てもらいたい / ていただきたい / てほしい

These three expressions—てもらいたい, ていただきたい, and てほしい—are used to express wishes or requests for someone else to do something. They vary in politeness and nuance, allowing the speaker to choose an appropriate tone depending on the level of formality and relationship with the person being addressed.

てもらいたい

Frequent Usages

  • 手伝ってもらいたい
  • 話を聞いてもらいたい
  • 今日中に終わらせてもらいたい
  • 先生に教えてもらいたい
  • あなたにわかってもらいたい

Meaning and Usage

てもらいたい is used to express a strong desire or wish for someone to do something for the speaker. It often carries a tone of personal wishfulness or slight dependency, implying that the speaker wants or hopes that someone else will do something for them. It is often used in casual to semi-formal settings.

This expression can be translated as "I would like you to" or "I want you to."

Common Meanings

  1. Personal Wish: Used to convey a personal desire or hope that someone will do something for the speaker.
  2. Mild Request: Implies a request, but often without the level of formality required in business or polite settings.

Form

  • Verb (て形) + もらいたい
    • 手伝ってもらいたい
      てつだってもらいたい
      "I want you to help me."
  • Noun + を + Verb (て形) + もらいたい
    • 意見を聞いてもらいたい
      いけんをきいてもらいたい
      "I want to hear your opinion."

Examples with てもらいたい

  • 今日中にこれを終わらせてもらいたい
    きょうじゅうにこれをおわらせてもらいたい
    "I want you to finish this by today."
  • 先生にこの問題を説明してもらいたい
    せんせいにこのもんだいをせつめいしてもらいたい
    "I want the teacher to explain this problem."
  • もっと私の気持ちを理解してもらいたい
    もっとわたしのきもちをりかいしてもらいたい
    "I want you to understand my feelings more."

ていただきたい

Frequent Usages

  • 確認していただきたい
  • 返事をいただきたい
  • 手伝っていただきたい
  • もう少し待っていただきたい
  • お越しいただきたい

Meaning and Usage

ていただきたい is the polite and humble form of てもらいたい. It’s used to make a request politely, often in formal or professional settings. This expression is respectful and is commonly used in business contexts or when addressing someone of higher status or with whom the speaker does not have a close relationship. It implies a strong deference to the other person.

This phrase can be translated as "I would appreciate it if you could…" or "I would like you to."

Common Meanings

  1. Polite Request: Used to request politely, showing respect toward the other person.
  2. Business Etiquette: Often used in professional settings to request assistance or favor respectfully.

Form

  • Verb (て形) + いただきたい
    • 説明していただきたい
      せつめいしていただきたい
      "I would like you to explain it."
  • Noun + を + Verb (て形) + いただきたい
    • 参加していただきたい
      さんかしていただきたい
      "I would appreciate it if you could participate."

Examples with ていただきたい

  • ご確認していただきたいと思います
    ごかくにんしていただきたいとおもいます
    "I would like you to confirm it."
  • 先ほどの内容について、ご説明していただきたいです
    さきほどのないようについて、ごせつめいしていただきたいです
    "I would appreciate it if you could explain the previous content."
  • お時間があるときに、返信していただきたいです
    おじかんがあるときに、へんしんしていただきたいです
    "I would appreciate it if you could reply when you have time."

てほしい

Frequent Usages

  • 手伝ってほしい
  • もっと話してほしい
  • この本を読んでほしい
  • みんなに参加してほしい
  • あなたにわかってほしい

Meaning and Usage

てほしい is a direct and casual way to express that the speaker wants someone to do something. It can be used in informal contexts or among friends and family, conveying a straightforward wish or desire without implying deference or formality. This expression focuses on the speaker’s personal desire for someone else to perform an action.

This phrase can be translated as "I want you to" or simply "please."

Common Meanings

  1. Direct Desire: Used to express a desire or wish in a straightforward and informal way.
  2. Personal Wish: Indicates a desire for someone to do something without any additional tone of formality.

Form

  • Verb (て形) + ほしい
    • 早く来てほしい
      はやくきてほしい
      "I want you to come quickly."
  • Noun + を + Verb (て形) + ほしい
    • みんなに参加してほしい
      みんなにさんかしてほしい
      "I want everyone to participate."

Examples with てほしい

  • もっと自分の意見を話してほしい
    もっとじぶんのいけんをはなしてほしい
    "I want you to share your opinion more."
  • できるだけ早く終わらせてほしい
    できるだけはやくおわらせてほしい
    "I want you to finish as soon as possible."
  • 今度のパーティーに来てほしい
    こんどのパーティーにきてほしい
    "I want you to come to the party next time."

Key Differences Between てもらいたい, ていただきたい, and てほしい

  1. Politeness Level:
    • てほしい: Casual and direct; used in informal situations.
    • てもらいたい: Neutral to polite; suitable for requests that don’t require high formality.
    • ていただきたい: Very polite and respectful; used in formal and professional contexts.
  2. Usage Context:
    • てほしい is best among friends or family and expresses a straightforward wish.
    • てもらいたい can be used in a variety of situations, depending on the level of relationship and politeness needed.
    • ていただきたい is typically used in business settings, with superiors, or in situations requiring respect.
  3. Nuance:
    • てほしい focuses on the speaker’s desire directly.
    • てもらいたい indicates a hope or wish for the other person’s cooperation, sometimes implying the speaker needs help.
    • ていただきたい implies deference and politeness, often appealing to the other person’s goodwill.

Example Sentences Comparing てもらいたい, ていただきたい, and てほしい

  • てほしい (Casual):
    • 今日手伝ってほしい
      きょうてつだってほしい
      "I want you to help today."
  • てもらいたい (Neutral):
    • 今日手伝ってもらいたいです
      きょうてつだってもらいたいです
      "I would like you to help today."
  • ていただきたい (Formal):
    • 今日手伝っていただきたいです
      きょうてつだっていただきたいです
      "I would appreciate it if you could help today."

In summary, てほしい is direct and casual, てもらいたい is a polite request for cooperation, and ていただきたい is a formal and deferential request.